


Let me take care of you

by Angel_With_The_Shotgun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awesome Jody Mills, Broken Dean Winchester, Broken Sam Winchester, Brotherly Love, Destiel - Freeform, Family Feels, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Protective Sam Winchester, Winchesters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:09:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_With_The_Shotgun/pseuds/Angel_With_The_Shotgun
Summary: Jody came back to the bunker with Alex and Claire  to take care of her boys.





	1. Chapter 1

"We're on our way", was all he needed to hear right now. 

Maybe he is not completely alone in this hard situation after all. He felt a little bit more hopeful than the days before.  
Snapping from his thoughts, Sam decided he needs to do something and busy his mind until Jody and girls make it to the bunker. He couldn't sleep, that was for sure, there were just so many damn things on his mind. He opted for a random book from a shelf. In one moment he almost fell asleep.

He was startled by loud banging at the door. He hurried upstairs to open it. When he saw familiar faces, relief washed over him.

"Hey Sam", Claire entered the bunker first and went to hug him. 

"Hey Claire, missed you", his voice broke.

"Sam, I.. I can't... I can't believe what happened... I... " 

"Hey, it's okay, I know... we'll go through this.. we will.." he said it like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

"You know.. I gave him a lot of shit because I'm such a jerk.. and now.. I'm sorry... i just.. he... I want him back..."  
In that moment he felt another pair of hands around him. Alex. She didn't said anything, she was just.. there for both of them.

After few moments his eyes met Jody's. 

"We lost them.. We lost them again Jody.." all the tears he was trying to keep were now freed.

"How are we going to survive... We can't do this.. Not again.. I... It hurts so bad.." his breathing was fast, and he felt his panic was rising. "We just got our mom back.. our real mom.. and I...."

Jody grabbed him tightly and hugged him. Sam didn't say a word. For real now.. What could you possibly even say.. There are no words for this, no other action than just being there for them. For now it seemed enough. They just stood there for a few moments longer.

"And Dean... I don't know how to help him.. when I can't even help myself."

"Shhh.." she interrupted "That's why we're here... I know no magic words to say and help you.. There is no use if we fool ourselves you know.. It's not okay... It's just.. not." tears were falling from both sides now. 

"How is he doing?"

"I... I can't get him out of the room.. He just.. refuses to do anything. Jody, I don't know what to do.... it'not even that he's mad... he just.. became an empty shell... I'm afraid for him.. I really am.. I..."  
"Let me.." They finally separated and Jody started walking towards Dean's room.  
"H..hey.. Jody?", Sam cleared his throat. She turned around.  
"He's.. he's in Cas' room..."

She froze in that second. Her heart clenched. She was trying to process this information.  
"Oh..." was all she managed to say, while slowly walking away.

She came by the door and listened.  
Silence.  
She thought maybe he was sleeping, but highly doubted it. Then she tought maybe he was gonna be mad that Sam sent her. What she didn't expect was, when she opened the door, Dean basically ran towards her.  
She led them back to the bed to sit.  
He cried for good ten minutes while hugging her. She wasn't saying anything. Neither did he. She cried with him. 

"I'm glad... I'm glad you're here" said Dean after he calmed down a bit. He was broken. "I... I thought... I... Jody... "

"I know sweetheart, I know.. we don't have to talk if you're not ready.. you know that right?"

He broke the hug only to look her in the eyes. His beautiful green eyes were so sad. She could see in them that his soul was shattered. In that moment she was angry at the world who let these boys, that gave so much, suffer so badly.  
They sacrificed themselves for others so many damn times. And what did they get? One big pile of nothing.  
Seriously. She knew life is not fair pretty damn good herself, but come on. Bad stuff just keeps happening to the best people.

"You know I would do anything to make this stop, right?" she gently put her hand on his cheek and tried to wipe his tears away. 

"I know that nothing I say will change this, but please just... I'm begging you.. I need you to let me take care of you boys.. I won't let you go through this alone, and I won't let you give up.. I love you so damn much... and I hate the fact that I could come here before, and I didn't."

"Jody...." he wasn't going to let go of her that soon.

"I'm here honey.. Say whatever it's on your mind.. I'll listen."

"I.. I miss him.." tears started to fall again. "So bad.. I feel like half of me is gone with him.. He saved me in more than thousand ways.. and I couldn't keep him safe... " he put his one free hand on his chest and tried to make himself breathe properly.

"Oh Dean.." she felt like someone stabbed her right through a heart with a very sharp knife.

"I feel like.. I feel like I should have gone with him.. But.. But I know.. I can't leave my little brother..."

"Nor me.." she smiled at him weakly.

"Nor you.. And I... I've been such a jerk to Sam... I know he lost them too... And I'm just unable.. "

"Hey hey, no. Listen to me. Don't blame yourself, I'm sure Sam understands."

"Yea, my good little brother.. he always do.. he doesn't deserve to put up with this.."

"No, Dean, you both don't deserve it.. I know I can't help a lot... but I'll try, and nobody here is giving up.. okay?"

He again looked her in the eyes and said "It's.... it's hard not to give up Jody, I've never felt in my entire life so defeated and tired .. I.. just.. finally felt like I have them.. I mean.. even mom... after everything... after impossible happened.. and they both just slipped through my hands again.." his tears subsided, and he felt just so exhausted and broken.. he sighed.  
"Hey Dean.. what do you say we fix you something to eat and then you go and try to get some sleep, please?" she tried to bring him back to life by changing the subject for a moment.

"I... I can't.. I feel so sick... I'm not going to be able to do that... no..."

"For me? Please? Just try.."

She stood up and offered him a hand. After a few moments of hesitation, he grabbed her hand.  
Half hugged, slowly, they walked towards the kitchen. 

"Of course you brought food." Dean tried to smile. Jody just smiled right back at him.  
She seated him gently while rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"We'll be okay, we will be, we have to be, understand me?" Jody was trying to convince them both.

She was making them dinner and Dean, lost in his thoughts, didn't even hear Claire, Alex and Sam enter the kitchen. Sam caught Jody's eyes and smiled at her gratefully. She smiled back.  
In that moment, Dean looked at her questioningly.  
Then he felt two pairs of hands hugging him from behind. He closed his eyes for a second, just trying to feel the offered comfort.

"Of course I brought them with me, they couldn't leave her brothers alone in this." Jody winked at him after a minute.

He put his hands on theirs, and tears simply rolled down his cheeks.  
They stood like this for few more moments."  
"We're not leaving you guys anytime soon. I hope you realize that." Alex said.

This entire time, Sam stood at the doorway, and he couldn't hide his emotions.

"Hey Sam... Sammy.." Dean offered his hand towards him.

He didn't even have to say anything else, his little brother's strong hands were already around him.

"I'm sorry little brother, I know you're hurting too, I just... Couldn't.."

"Shut up.." Sam said while hugging him little bit more tighter.

"Meal's ready.." Jody interrupted. "And I'm not accepting no for an answer, from any of you, understand?" Jody was smiling at them lovingly.

"Thanks... for being here..." Dean said to her.

"Don't thank me, eat" she fought her emotions.  
In that moment she firmly decided to give herself a role of protector of this broken, loving little family.  
And just for a moment, it seemed like maybe they will survive this. Together.


	2. Reasons to fight

Bunker was silent that night.  
Everyone was asleep.  
Even Dean, after long sleepless and restless nights.  
Dean kindly offered Jody to take his room, and girls took one of the few rooms left in the bunker.  
Even though Cas didn't spent much time in the room Dean gave him, somehow it still was his. Next to his own room. Close to Dean, close to his heart.  
And Dean... Well, he was not willing to let that go. He was holding onto every little thing he had. 

It was early morning, sun was barely above the horizon, when the smell of coffee and pancakes spread trough the bunker halls.  
If the situation was different, this would be perfect start of the day.

Jody entered Cas' room slowly, on her heals.  
Dean was asleep. He was lying on his stomach, feet tangled in the sheets, hugging pillow. Exhaustion was visible on his face. Also dried tears.  
Her heart was breaking at the sight.  
For a moment she hesitated, but then tentatively put her hand on his back. For a few minutes, she just sat on his bed next to him and gently rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"Morning, dear" said Jody, after she felt him stir.

"Still here, huh?" he asked, voice hoarse from sleep and exhaustion.

"Where would I be?" she smiled. "Hey.. Umm.. Ready for breakfast? Your brother and girls are already awake".

He sighed loudly and closed his eyes.

"Hey... Wanna sleep some more?"

"Can't..."

"Want me to keep you company?"

"You don't have to." 

"Well, I don't, but I want to. You remember what I said yesterday? You're not going through this alone. Period. I'm on a mission here."   
He could sense a smile in her voice, even though his eyes were closed.  
He smiled at her last sentence.

"Hey you, don't mock me, you know what I mean." she teased him.

"Okay then" she said after a minute, "So we're staying here. Scoot over."  
He finally managed to gain his strength to move and they both leaned against the headboard.

"Wanna talk?

"Not really."  
"Okay, fine with that too."

They we're sitting like that in silence for a while, eyes closed, but not sleeping.  
She felt his head leaning on her shoulder. She leaned her head on his. It was strangely comforting. He sighed.

"Hey Dean?" she finally spoke.

"Mhhmm?"

"You know it's gonna be okay, right?"

Silence.  
He was just so tired.  
She took his both hands in hers and gently rubbed his knuckles with her thumbs.

"Well, it will be." she said in a very determined tone. He squeezed her hands.

After a while, he felt him relax a bit more, and then she noticed he fell asleep.  
She closed her eyes and fell asleep next to him.

After quite some time, Jody heard the door open.  
Sam. He came in to check up on them, 'cause it's been a while since she went to see Dean.  
She opened her eyes only to see Sam's worried and anxious expression.   
"Is... umm.. is he ok?" he whispered so he doesn't wake him up. He was slightly panicking. Seeing Dean so vulnerable, always broke Sam's heart. He will never get used to it.  
She nodded and whispered "Later..."  
"Okay..." sigh of relief. He turned around and left the room.

She woke him up as soon as she felt her shirt got wet.  
He was crying in his sleep.

"Hey, hey, hey, Dean, you need to wake up, honey... hey come on" she shook him lightly.  
He snapped his eyes open, tears streaming down his face.  
"Sorry.. I just.. I'm...." he was breathing heavily.  
"You don't have to say anything, cry if you need to, I'm not going anywhere." she hugged him tightly, and that caused only more tears to fall.   
He calmed down for a bit, and, trying to smile, asked ".. breakfast?"  
"Sure thing! You need some alone time to get ready, right? I'll be waiting for you in the kitchen."   
He nodded.  
"Okay, see you in a few." she kissed his forehead and left the room.

Somehow he managed to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like hell. Felt probably even worse.  
He gave himself a mental shake. Filling the sink with cold water, he splashed his face a few times.  
"I can do this. I will be okay. I have to be... I..." he kept repeating that to himself. Maybe someday a miracle will happen and he'll actually believe it.

After ten minutes he appeared in the kitchen. Fresh coffee and freshly made pancakes were waiting for him.  
Also hugs and smiley faces.

His reasons to fight.


	3. Fresh air

It was late afternoon. Sam and Jody drank coffee and talked about random stuff when Sam suddenly spoke in more serious tone.

"You know... I felt like this just might be it. For him. And for me." Sam began.  
"Losing everything we just got back. It was like the whole universe was mocking us. After everything we've done. It's not easy in our lives to find some constant. That basically equals finding a needle in a haystack. And we actually did find it. That constant was Cas. I don't know what we did to deserve a friend like him. Even after all the crap we've been through.. Both he and us two... He was always coming back to us. He always found his way home" he stopped for a second. Tears formed in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall. He took a deep breath and continued.  
"And.. after many years, we got our mom back, and it felt like things are getting back to normal, just how they should, you know? It sounds weird, it is weird, but.... I finally got to know her, the real her, and of course, everything fell apart. In a split of second we lost them both. And I don't blame Dean for shutting everyone out. He always felt like he's the one who has to protect his family from everything.. And I'm not even gonna talk about his relationship with Cas.  
I mean.. How do people move on from things like this? How to gain the strength to wake up in the morning realizing you have nothing... again? That all your hopes and dreams are crushed...."

"I know I can't, so to say, compete with you guys here, but I know thing or two about pain. You never stop feeling it. It's been years since I lost my family, and it hurts every freaking day. I do feel sometimes that I can't get up in the morning, because it's too much you know... But.. You simply cannot let yourself pain become your everyday life... I have my girls with me, and I have you two. You all are gift to me, and I feel my life would be so very empty without you. You're my reasons to fight. And that's all I want from you. To fight."

"How did you survive? I mean, it couldn't be easy.."

"Truth to be told, I don't know... And I don't want to remember..." she swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.  
"I only remember good things we've been through.. And I gotta be honest.. Sometimes those good things, hurt even worse.. Cause at the end you remember you don't have them anymore.. But good thing in all of this crap is that I met you guys, and I'm just happy we have each other. And I hope I help you just as much you help me.."

"Trust me.. You do.." he smiled weakly.

"Hey," she tried to lighten the mood.

"What about we go outside, go grab some pizza or something.. We all could use some fresh air to clear our minds.."

"That's actually not a bad idea, I'll go get Dean.. he's still in the garage?"

"Yeah, think so.. You go get him, I'll get the girls"

"Ok, meet you in the war room."

Sam entered the garage and couldn't see Dean right away.

"Dean? You here?" 

"Yeah.. down here" Sam heard his voice from somewhere distant. 

He busied himself with one of the cars they had in the garage. This was his way of dealing with anxiety and pain. He could fix cars practically the entire day.

"Hey, um... Jody asked if you're up for some dinner outside?"

The thought of random people surrounding him, and being all happy like everything is okay in this freaking world, horrified him.

"No, I'm good."

"Dean.."

"I said I'm good!"

Sam was not having it.

"Come on, we could all get some fresh air. We won't be long.."

"Sam..."

"Just so you know I'm not gonna stop nagging you... Please.. I'm not planning on leaving you alone here.."

" Ok, fine.." he rolled his eyes. He could never say no to his brother, no matter how hard he tried.

"Just one more thing.." he stopped Dean from walking away.

"Promise me.. Please.. Just promise me you'll talk to me when you need to, please..."

"I'm sorry, Sammy.. I just feel like if I talk about it.. I'm just gonna fall apart even more... It still hurts so much.."

"I know.. I just don't want you to hide from all of us that much.. It sounds lame, but I miss you, I really do...." suddenly he felt like a little kid, who just wanted his brothers comfort.

Dean smiled and squeezed his shoulder. 

"Let's go get that dinner, okay?" he said.

Sam smiled, satisfied.

Jody and girls waited in the war room. When boys appeared with smile on their faces, Jody felt like her heart was gonna burst.

"Hey, so you guys ready?"

They all nodded.

"Just so you know.. I'm driving." she grinned.

"Come on, let's go."


	4. Heart to heart

"I dream about him every night.. Mostly happy dreams, you know. Three of us, just hitting the road... hanging out.. no things to worry about.." Dean started.

"Huh.." he thought about it for a second, "Now it's hitting me.. We never had that, man.. Being without a case, without having to do things for the 'greater good'... We never had that. The simple life. For more than a day. Always something else was important. More important than us being together, more important than us being okay."

"You're right.. I often miss the simple in our life. Whatever that simple was. And Cas.. He was a good man. I mean, he was an angel, but.." Sam smiled to himself as he was picturing Cas tilting his head in confusion. "The kindest one. I don't know how he managed to put up with us two jerks. And even with this messed up world. "

"Well, I guess we found ourselves a friend who matches our level of crazy." Dean smiled. "I just... I just wish he is here.. with us... with.. with me..." Dean's voice broke at the last two words.

"I know. I know the feeling.." Sam sat closer to Dean and put his arm around his brothers shoulders. Dean inhaled sharply, and continued looking at the floor.

"I know you do." he said after a moment.

"How.. how did you find the strength to carry on... I mean.. It's not something you just forget like it's nothin'."

"You're right, it's not..I still find myself thinking about her.. and how things could be different. But they're not, and I had to accept it. I just had to. Life forces you to do so. Also, I was lucky I had you. You were there every step of the way."

Dean gave him a small smile.

"And.. I am here for you today. Not leaving you alone knowing you're in such pain. I know sometimes you think being alone will help you, but in reality.. It's not.. Alone can only hurt you more. Trust me."

"If that's even possible" Dean said silently.

"Yeah.." Sam was somehow lost in the thought of it. He squeezed his brothers shoulders a bit more tighter and then he felt slight tremors coming from him.

"Hey hey.. it's gonna be ok, big brother" he tried to console him.

"I didn't even.. I didn't even tell him.. I'm so weak.. And pathetic.."

"Dean.."

"When I had the chance to make it ok.. I couldn't do it.. I wish.."

"Dean, stop it.. He knew, alright? He did."

"Maybe he did, but he deserved to hear it from me.. He deserved better.. he deserved everything.. And I blew it up..." with that said, his tears simply rolled down his cheeks.

"I'm here, it's okay.." Sam continued to comfort him. What else he could do?

"I hate him, I hate him so much for leaving me like this.. I hate him, Sam" he was now sobbing in Sam's shirt.  
Sam didn't mind.

"And I.. I.. at the same time... I never loved anybody like I love him.. Sam, I need him with me.. I.. "

"Let it out, it's okay.. it's okay.." Sam tried to control his own tears by blinking his eye lids rapidly.

"Sammy..." he begged, "Bring him back to me.."

"Shhh.. You know I would do that in a heartbeat.."  
Sam was rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"I wouldn't survive this without you, Sammy, I wouldn't.." he calmed down a bit. "And we're damn lucky to have Jody, Claire and Alex in our lives.. I swear if something happens to you or them.. I won't.. I won't survive.. Not this time, I can feel that.. Please don't disappear on me, please don't leave.."

"Calm down Dean, hey.. hey look at me.."

Dean barely could lift his head to look at him in the face.

"We won't leave you, okay? Don't even think about this.."

"Do you think maybe it's time to stop hunting? I mean... if now it's not the time, then I don't know.." Dean asked with a trace of hope in his voice.  


"Yeah, you're right.. now would be the best timing, except.."  


"I know.. don't even say it.. I can't deal with that right now.." he let out exasperated sigh. He wiped his eyes.  


"I know.. feel you... Hey, um.. Up for a drive? No particular destination. Just the two of us?"  


Dean thought about it for a second.

"Okay, why not? World will be screwed anyways, no matter what I decided to do now."

"I'll go tell our girls we're going out for a while, and I'm meeting you in the car in five, 'kay?"

"Okay, sure.." 

Sam patted him on the back once more and said.

"Don't worry, we'll figure this out, you know we always do. Love you, bro. Don't forget that."

Warm feeling washed over him, and he smiled at him fondly.  
What did he do to deserve a brother like Sam?

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse my grammar.  
> And poor writing.
> 
> Even though I know I have no talent in writing, I still can't resist but post random stuff here.  
> Supernatural ruined my life.


End file.
